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shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

(Source: leethepace)

emilymmize:

humming-metallica-in-the-tardis:

onecelestialbeing:

housewifeswag:

excusemyhubris:

zayoken:

She’s cute

she’s just saying that because it’s probably difficult to reach her vagina.

you obviously have no idea how the female anatomy works and I’m assuming that’s because you’ve never touched a vagina in real life so why don’t you pipe the fuck down. pro tip: you can use your tears as lube while you’re masturbating tonight.

BURN

OH THAT WAS GOLD

DAMN! need some Neosporin for that BURN?

(Source: fyeahhousewifeswag)

phurlz:

This is my favorite scene of Bob’s Burgers ever.

(Source: spattergroit101)

courfeyclause:

wings-for-castiel:

headmeetsdesk:

radioactivemoose:

so for some reason hershey’s thinks that golden apples would be great to sell as valentine’s candy

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so i got one and wrote this on top:

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and left it on a table in the studio

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less than five minutes later people were fighting about it

my plan has thus far been a success

I love you

you do realize this is how the trojan war started right

this is definitely how the college au of the iliad starts

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